Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
