I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
We were destined to go to rehab together
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
