Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
