im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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