I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
