# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
