it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
