I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize