mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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