Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
