There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
