Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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