You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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