You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
