Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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