I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
