So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I queefed so loud it echoed.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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