Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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