the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Randomize