Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
