one might say we're banned from that church
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You should frame my arrest warrant.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
