This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
