can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Life is so much better after having sex.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
