If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
