Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
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