so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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