i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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