am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I understand Curling. That high.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
