I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
I think a kid would responsible me up
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
