how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
