babies were throwing up all over the place
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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