i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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