a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
