You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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