We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
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