i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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