either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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