just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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