This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
