i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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