"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she peed on how many people?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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