Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
