turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sorry my hands just texted you
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
