I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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