im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
