the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
