TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
