Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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