so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Randomize
