My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
My bed smells like the plague
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
