I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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