Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
