Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
