Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
