Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
