he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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