Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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