I bet he comes in French.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
