Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
